I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My vagina is officially offended.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
