My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you will always have a special place in my vag
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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