remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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