dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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