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C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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