she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
