hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
