he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
