On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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