Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
