I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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