and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
