Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
