I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
