so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he quoted the bible to break up with me
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
