May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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