no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
