Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
