My room smells like vodka and shame
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
