Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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