I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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