He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
