id be glad to
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Randomize
