God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
