I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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