i don't plan on having that self control this summer
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
