Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
