Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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