there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
