I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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