You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
