Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
