I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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