Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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