ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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