i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
