did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You can't motorboat a personality
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
