spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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