I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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