No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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