Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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