But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
