I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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