Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
