brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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