Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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