Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize