1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
