Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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