Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
