No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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