i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
