i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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