birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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