Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
