everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
