I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
