How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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